Grief Relates To The Work Of The Soul
Bob Olson's Interview With Psychic Medium Laura Scott
Bob Olson: I'm
pleased to be interviewing Laura Scott today on the relationship
between grief and soul work. Laura is a psychic, spiritual
teacher and channel for healing, and she is going to teach us
how grieving is a natural part of our growth process in this
journey we call life.
Laura, I think it is safe to say that most adults will deal with
grief in their lifetime. Do you believe that the grief process
is part of most everyone's life purpose?
Laura Scott: Hi Bob, it's always a pleasure to connect
with you! Yes, sooner or later we will all experience
grief on one level or another. It is unavoidable. Grief
transcends social classes, cultures, countries, education,
backgrounds and more. It is a great equalizer. We
grieve the physical loss of loved ones, beloved pets, family
members, as well as less tangible things like losses of life
roles, health, loss of status, phases of our lives, jobs,
ideas, youth, freedom - you name it and someone has grieved for
Scientists have recently discovered that no matter what the
cause, all forms of grief create physical pain and chemical
reactions in our body. In other words, grief in any form
takes a measurable toll on us physically, one that can actually
be quantified and seen in laboratories. The second
interesting thing about these studies is that grief over the
loss of loved one, whether human or animal, both
measured the same identical effects in the body. So
whether we are grieving a spouse, or a beloved animal companion
the effects in our bodies are equal. That is an important
finding because it offers us an opportunity to have more
compassion for ALL those who grieve, not just those we can
relate to, or those losses we deem 'worthy.' It's a huge
opportunity for a lesson in compassion and expanding our
inadequate models for understanding grief.
Those who have known and
suffered through grief, in whatever form, know that in addition
to grief being a gauntlet of emotional, physical and spiritual
things, it also brings us up against societies shortcomings for
dealing with it. As a global community full of world
citizens, we need to do a better job of understanding and
tolerating grief in all it's forms. Since grief is
inescapable, non discriminating, all equalizing, and able
to be measured quantitatively, clearly it is also an integral
part of our soul work.
And while grief can be
excruciatingly isolating, it doesn't have to be. The
answer is simple: we need more compassion for ourselves and
others. And we need a new model for understanding the
importance of grief in terms of growth of the soul.
Bob: What benefits do we gain from grieving the loss of a
Laura: Ahhh, good question. Let me answer that from the
position of someone who has experienced first hand grief and
loss. When we are in the throws of it, grief is purely
about survival. It is primal. There are days when
you can't sleep enough, and others where you can't sleep
at all. There are days when you can't eat, and other days
where you just can't stop eating. Days where you are all
cried out, and whole stretches of days where you cry all the
time, even in your sleep. Days where you can't stop
thinking, and days where you can't think at all.
Initially, grief must be
experienced and respected as primal, where our very survival
hinges on ebbing and flowing with this process far greater than
ourselves. Eventually though, it's important to start
seeing grief for what it is on a larger level...sacred work for
the soul. By grieving the loss of a loved one we
ultimately invite our own healing and soul progress...making
room for new understanding, acceptance, clarity and compassion
to come in. And with all this comes a better communication
with The Other Side, not a weakened one.
I think it would help if in
some way we can think of getting through grief as a required
right of passage for the soul.
If grieving is part of our soul work, perhaps you can explain to
us the meaning of "soul work" in this context.
Laura: Soul work is the task that each and every being
has while they are down here on earth. We are all here to
learn and to grow, and the non-discriminating nature of grief
guarantees each of us a few passes at it during this earthly
journey. Like it or not, it is part of this earthly
package deal. By reframing grief into that context,
it can help us all to remember that we are not alone. We
are on a larger journey - and life is a continuum. We will
all be connected with our loved ones again. The things in
this earthly world are designed for impermanence. The
soul, however, is perpetual.
Remember, we humans have to flow everything through our egos.
The ego would have us think we are in control, we are the center
of The Universe, we are different than others, better than
others, not like others, exempt from suffering, above loss
etc....and guess what? The ego is a big illusion artist, a
great fibber! Ego is a human condition. It means we
are focused or fixated on ourselves: I this, I that.
But our soul doesn't work this way. The ego or id is part
of the earthly package, not the eternal one. When we find ways
to move through our grief and become even slightly aware of a
bigger picture, there is comfort in knowing that despite
appearances everything is always working for good - for our
growth. Everything is leading us somewhere.
Eventually, as spirits, we will all meet again. And in the
scheme of The Universe, that's just a blink of the eye.
Bob: So, although we may have several things to learn in
our lifetime, part of that soul work is to experience the
physical loss of people we love?
Laura: Yes Bob.
As painful as it is, we all age, we all get to trade in these
bodies eventually. Our bodies are designed to expire; like
cars. It is part of the deal here on earth. No one
is exempt - although a few eccentric billionaires have had their
brains and spinal columns frozen, but I think they missed the
point of soul work and were operating from strictly an ego
As we age physically we will
hopefully also become more aware of our selves: our physical
capabilities and possibilities. Philosophies like 'seize
the day', 'make hay while the sun shines', 'attitude
is everything' and so on take on new meanings for us.
These attitudes can help shape and mold our daily experiences.
The changes that come with aging and the passage of time create
a type of goal system that we measure life with. For
instance: "when I get tall enough I will ride a big bike,'
or 'as soon as I can drive...,' 'after I graduate
college,' 'once the mortgage is paid off,' 'once I am in
remission', 'when I get married,' 'after physical therapy is
Statements, attitudes, and expressions like these are used to
quantify time. They help us to both make and measure goals.
They may sometimes reflect our inner progress and changes
as well as outward ones. Notice I said sometimes.
Because like it or not, whether you are maturing or not, aging
and the passage of time WILL happen here on earth. For all
of our marvels and advances to discover and quantify time, the
one thing that seems to have alluded us is how to stop or
reverse it. Ultimately, no matter how much we love our
'cars' - things are indeed designed to wear and change. No
matter how much we love our pets, family members, partners,
etc., eventually we all go "Home" to a wonderful
place. Some of us just take an earlier train there than
How we deal with these
concepts is a matter of choice and attitude. After all,
life is always what we make it.
If dealing with such loss is difficult for someone in this life,
do you often find that such people have had similar difficulties
in past lives? In other words, is there often a similar
relationship with grief from one life to the next?
Laura: Sometimes, but
not always. Every soul is as unique as their own fingerprint.
Remember, there are billions and billions of us down here and no
two souls the same. That means that no two souls will
experience the same things, in precisely the same way. We
each have our own life work and history to navigate. If we
have struggled with grief work in past lives, we will face it
again (remember it's inescapable and multifaceted). It is
part of our larger soul work, and if we haven't done the best we
feel we can in the past...then here it comes again.
The difference is that this time, we will now have a chance to
do better...even one percent better than we did in our lives
before. This is something that I often educate people
about during private sessions and readings if it pertains to
specifically to them. In doing so I will look at their relevant
past lives and lead the client to the pivotal tools for change
for right here and now.
Bob: I guess, then, that the question really is: how do
we work with our grief?
Laura: For starters,
we need to reframe it. Start to see grief as a sacred
time, an inescapable part of our soul work. Keep it
primal. Get up every day and somehow breath in and out.
When whole days seem overwhelming, break it up into smaller
increments. Sit and watch the clock tic off a minute and
when you are done, reach for another. Be supremely gentle
with yourself. That means be patient, tolerant, kind,
understanding, forgiving, and more. Remember that grief is a
process. Taking Rescue Remedy (Bach Flower essence) is also big
Focus on staying present,
and relishing this sacred space for what it is. Get outside each
day and breath in the fresh air. Don't overwhelm yourself. Spend
a few moments watching the clouds or the stars. Don't rush the
people you love who are grieving through their sacred process.
Respect it. Have compassion for it. Try to understand it. Don't
quantify it (remember the scientist's conclusions), encourage
those in grief not to censor themselves. Just be. The sky won't
fall open and swallow you up. Offer to listen. Cry with them if
you like. Don't take offense at their process.
Understand that just because
there appear to be some 'good' days, doesn't mean that there
won't be any more challenging moments or rough days. Grief is a
lot like the stock market, it is not a linear thing. It's a lot
more like the graphs of the stock market (yikes!), spiking up
and down with every breeze. Those who are able to be present, be
it physically, emotionally, spiritually, or psychically -
despite their fears - do bring comfort. They help to expand our
inadequate grief model into a better place. And they
become part of the sacred journey of healing and help God to
spread grace around all of our hearts.
If you are stuck in the
grieving place and not moving, seek support. Join a grief
group, see a counselor, use some natural remedies (like the Bach
Flower essences or homeopathy), consider an alternative approach
like mediumship or a reading. Remember there are no time
tables or limits to grief. We are all unique. For
some grieving takes months, for others it is years, even
decades. The important thing is for us to remember not to
judge another's process and push our own expectations on them.
Bob: Are there tools or books that can further help our
Laura: Yes, the www.GriefandBelief.com
website is a fantastic resource too. I also strongly
recommend keeping a journal to record your passage through this
sacred process. The Ancient Stardust Progress Journal is
designed to help guide people through life changes, awakenings,
loss, etc. It's excellent at demystifying the journaling
process and helping you to connect with your own process and
Also, there are two CD's in
the Ancient Stardust Tools for Change CD Series, that
would be great for anyone going through a grieving process.
The first is Grounding and Centering, which will help you to
focus on your breathing and the other is called Higher Purpose.
The Higher Purpose CD has been a phenomenon. The
meditation was originally created to help people connect in with
their angels, spirit guides, and animal messengers. But
deceased loved ones have been showing up and taking the journey
with listeners-bringing them comfort and messages and more!
I have experienced this first hand and the effects have been
mind blowing, even for a psychic like me! The feedback coming to
my office has been very moving.
Bob: Laura, I know that you are able to communicate with
people in spirit, although that is not all that you do as a
psychic, spiritual teacher and channel for healing. But
considering your ability to convey messages from spirit, do you
believe it is helpful for the grieving to communicate with their
deceased loved ones?
Laura: Yes, I do think it is helpful, but I also think it
isn't fully enough. The next logical step once you know that
your loved one is okay is to learn more about the progress of
the soul, including your own. A major focus of my life
work is to help educate people about this, and I do a lot of
work in private session to help people understand how to raise
their own vibrations and awareness up so that they can become
more empowered. When we are empowered, it is the
next natural step to understand all the ways our loved ones are
with us and to start looking to see the big picture.
Bob: What are some of
the methods that you recommend for spirit communication:
mediumship, prayer, meditation, other?
Laura: Yes those and more. I think the most important
thing to remember is that knowledge is power. Read! The
Complete Idiot's Guide to Divining the Future is a treasure
trove of knowledge to help people understand how to use tools
like the ones you've mentioned responsibly. It will help readers
to identify their own strengths and gifts, understand their own
unique wiring, and ultimately to become more empowered in the
process. If people are looking to mediums for private
readings, be sure to look for the right fit for you. Do
your homework. Visit www.BestPsychicMediums.com
Bob: Do our loved ones attempt to communicate with us
from the spirit world?
Laura: Oh yes!
Bob: What are some of the signs we should look for?
Laura: Dream visitations, smells, electronic
interferences, synchronicities, tapping, clicking, coin
dropping, sound frequency changes and more.
Why do they try to give us these signs? Why is it important for
them to convey these messages or make their presence felt?
Have you ever read a great book or seen a good movie that you
couldn't wait to tell the people in your life about? Felt
so good (happy, inspired, enthusiastic, etc) that you wanted to
tell people? Especially the people that you know are worrying
about you and care about you? Well, think along those
lines. As for our loved ones having a vested
interest in our daily grind, mostly they could care less.
It's more like they see us struggling and send us signs to
remind us to lighten up, laugh, enjoy the journey, don't feel so
alone. They are trying to help us see the big picture.
I'm curious, Laura, how our grieving affects our loved ones on
the other side?
Laura: Thank you for
asking that Bob. Grief does affect our loved ones on The
Other Side. I sometimes read for clients who are having
trouble letting their grieving process unfold, because in some
way they fear that if they allow their grief to heal, then they
think they will feel farther from their deceased loved one
instead of closer to them. It's actually the opposite for
the soul though. Our grief actually has a way of clogging up the
ethereal communication lines. Our earthly grief can also
be a distraction or concern for our loved ones who have crossed
over, in that they don't want to upset us further by reaching
out, or they are trying to reach out and we are so clogged up
with the funk of grief that we just can't hear it, feel it, see
it, experience it, etc.
Bob: Why is it
important for "us" that we learn to move to this next
phase of communication with our deceased loved ones?
Because our own earthly grief can prevent our loved ones from
finishing up their own process of leaving the body behind and
moving forward. In our ego minds we cling to what we knew, but
in doing so, we hold up progress, both theirs and ours.
When we grow to understand the changes from a soul's
perspective, a new language of communication begins. When
we learn how to embrace it and celebrate it, we actually have
more peace, happiness and joy because we are in the zone of
infinite love that 'they' are now in. It raises up our own
frequencies and actually makes it easier to feel 'them' around
us. It's so important for us to remember that we will all
be together again. Our loved ones just took an earlier
train to the destination we are all going. And when we do
get 'there,' our loved ones will be waiting at the platform to
Bob: In light of all this, what can you tell us about how
we "chart" our exit points from the physical plane to
the spiritual plane? Do we always know when we are going to
We all have several exit opportunities charted, but there is
usually no conscious memory of this. Most people can sit
and think of at least a few times in retrospect when they
'dodged a close one.' But that is all retrospect.
No, we do not always know when we are going to cross over, that
is a private choice made in charting the soul. Some souls
may opt for awareness and to begin their life review process
while still here on earth, while others may not choose this
option in their chart, so as to create a different opportunity
for learning and growing for others here.
Bob: This has been really enlightening. I'm not sure I'll
look at the grieving process the same again. It really helps to
put grief into perspective. Thanks for teaching us all this.
You are most welcome Bob! Thank you for the opportunity to help
your readers learn more about the big picture of grief and how
it effects the work of their soul.
Bob: If people would
like to contact you about counseling for their grief, private
readings and/or soul work, how can they learn more about you?
They can call my office toll free at 1-866-897-1504 or
visit my website: www.ancientstardust.com,
or read my spiritual advice column "Ask Laura" along
with numerous articles I have written that are published on
OfSpirit.com, many of which deal directly with soul work and the
subject of grief. Many of these articles can be found of
& Mediums page
Olson is a former private investigator
and skeptic who began using his investigation skills to research
psychics, mediums and the afterlife in 1999. This research led
him to establish OfSpirit.com
Magazine (2000), BestPsychicMediums.com
(2001) and BestPsychicDirectory.com
(2007), three of the most trusted and influential sources for
understanding and locating trustworthy psychics and mediums.
Bob Olson has tested hundreds of psychics and mediums around the
world and has become a leading authority on the subject with TV,
movie and documentary producers, journalists, book publishers,
event promoters, as well as law enforcement agencies and private
investigators. Bob’s achievements in psychic and medium
investigation and testing has further allowed him to evaluate
and isolate the key components that set apart the best psychic
medium readings from the mediocre—leading him to create his
famous (although secret) 15-point test.
has documented his findings in a multitude of articles. He has
authored the Forewords for three books: The Complete Idiot's
Guide To Communicating With Spirits, Consult Your Inner
Psychic and The Complete Idiot's Guide To Divining The
Future. Bob has also been quoted as an expert in How To
Get A Good Reading By A Psychic Medium and Empowering
Your Life With Angels. He is also the author of Win The
Battle and How To Beat Depression.